Friday, January 05, 2007

Boston Billionaires at Governor Deval Patrick's Inauguration!

Sure, Deval Patrick has worked for some of our finest corporations -- Coca-Cola, Ameriquest, Texaco -- yet we wondered how his policies would effect Billionaires in Massachusetts. After all, he worked for the NAACP Legal Defense Fund and headed Bill Clinton's Civil Rights Division. We wondered if he really had the guts to screw the little guy in order to further the interests of the super-mega-ultra wealthy. In an effort to find out, we attended his Inauguration:

For the first time ever, the Inauguration was held outside so more citizens could attend. That move in itself was worrying. If our government isn't exclusive, will there be room for Billionaires and our cash? At first, the ordinary citizens of Massachusetts we encountered seemed to be enthusiastic about our cause. They took our photos, for example:

Then, the crowd turned ugly. Two women crossed their arms threateningly! A couple cast scornful looks at Dee Foress Tayshun's mink stole! A man scowled! They didn't seem to appreciate the Billionaires at all! It looked as if incivility would break out at any moment:

Dee Foress and Austin Tayshun were frightened and clung to each other for safety as glad cries of "Romney is gone!" rippled through the crowd:

The tension became so great, that Ivana Moore-Enmoore pleaded for assistance from one of the Inauguration volunteers. He pocketed our leaflet and cash and shepherded us three to the reception line in order to meet the new Governor:

Photo by Dee Foress Tayshun. Thank you, darling!

We thought we would be safe in the State House, swarming as it was with State Troopers and members of the Ancient and Honorable Artillary Company. Sadly, we were wrong! The reception line became an hours-long ordeal.

First, no staffers accepted our bribes to let us go to the head of the line. It was an outrage!

Second, we had to stand with the hoi-polloi and wait our turn! More outrage!

Third, it looked like the Governor would leave for his next event before he even met us! What a disaster!

At the end, staffers announced that we would be able to meet the Governor, but no photographs would be allowed! Despair tightly held our hearts like a vise-grip, but we soldiered on.

Finally, Ivana met the Governor and quickly pleaded with him to remember us Billionaires, the most oppressed minority in Massachusetts and in the Nation! Austin and Dee Foress issued a similar plea to Lt. Governor Tim Murray.

With our mission accomplished, we could finally relax (note the Governor over Austin's right shoulder):

Photo by Dee Foress Tayshun.

After we calmed down and stopped cackling insanely, we were swarmed by reporters, who took down our words of hope: "Let our gardeners take care of the grassroots!"

We can only hope now that the Governor remembers us and honors our investments in Legislation! Well, and we can continue to fund our lobbyists!

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