Boston Billionaires for WealthCare Sought!

Yes, one is ooking for a few good billionaires.

AND ---one is seeking a fabulous Richly Upholstered Chair for Boston-Metro Billionaires for WealthCare, because one really cannot be expected to limo up from Hyannisport on a regular basis, can one?

One must step up to the plate. One means, by this, you.

Grab a tux, grab a tiara. Print some signs. And voila!

One will then be ready to lend one's countenance to a teabagger party, or to counter-protest those socialist medicine persons.

Don't wait!

RSVP a moi, at once!

Fight Socialism: End Medicare NOW

Boston-Metro Billionaires for Bush Become Billionaires for WealthCare!!

Once again, we wealthy ones are called to action -- we need WealthCare, not healthcare!!

Recruiting NOW for Billionaires for WealthCare!


The rich shall rise again!!!

Open Thread for Billionaires for WealthCare Organizational Mode

Have at it, darlings!!


Let's go out and tell the world we want everything to remain just as it is! Oh, except for privatizing everything -- for a change!!

Organize away!

Boston Billionaires on Hiatus; Looking for New Leadership

Darling,

Heavy is the head which wears the tiara, and my social obligations have grown to such an extent that it is impossible for moi to continue to lead the Boston Chapter.

If you are interested in herding cats... er... guiding the glamorous, then kindly contact moi at doodle-bean@hotmail.com

If you wish to see what is taking me away from the Billionaires, kindly visit any or all of the following:

Doodle Bean
Little Green Fascists
A Gathering of Bird Brains

Toodles!

Ivana Moore-Enmoore

We Defend Bush and Putin in Kennebunkport, Maine!

A true friend of the super-mega-ultra wealthy visited another of our friends in tony Kennebunkport, Maine on Sunday and we were there! The occasion was a casual holiday for Vladimir Putin (responsible for the best cronyism we've ever seen) at the Bush Family compound. And would those ordinary Americans let our Vlad and our Georgie hang out and fish? No! They staged a protest! Shame on them!

Fortunately, the Boston Billionaires were there to keep things fair and balanced.

Boston Billionaires dominate the entire planet at the protest rally. (Left to right: Dee Forress Tayshun, Ivana Moore-Enmoore, Austin Tayshun).


Some of the protesters tried to match our glamour, but failed miserably!


After the rally, the protesters were planning on marching down Ocean Street to the Bush Family compound. Billionaires drove around to a point in order to intercept them. Sadly, security forces forced us to stroll to the march route. Never fear, once we got there, Ivana Moore-Enmoore bravely jumped in front of the marchers to proclaim, "Bush is Innocent!".

Two more photos are here and here.

UPDATE: We got a tiny snip of press coverage! And here is what they wrote, "One woman donned a red gown, tiara and pearls to impersonate a "billionaire for Bush" and some protesters pulled a wooden coffin with a statue of liberty inside it."

I suppose that is all right, but that is 'Billionaire for Bush' to you, mister!

High Crimes and Misdemeanors at Faneuil Hall!

Our day at Faneuil Hall started out very well. The Tayshuns, Ascencia N. Titlement and Porsche DeCosta Lotta-Dough shared a few laughs with our Georgie (background) in our richly appointed pavilion...


...Ascencia flirted with D'Oyle Fields (or was it the other way around?)...


Porsche bribed a cop...


...and D'Oyle gracefully forced a mime to kiss his shoes!


Suddenly, things took a distinct turn for the worse! A Veteran for Peace 'conned' Dee Foress and Austin Tayshun out of a Billion dollar bill, only to try to do the same thing with Porsche seconds later (take a look at his face in that second photo. He is so-oo-oo busted!)!


Then, an everyday American tried to steal our money right from our Georgie's feet seconds after Austin Tayshun turned his back!!


But the worse was to come! A town crier rang his annoyingly loud bell and announced that 'the people' would try our Georgie and our Dick for 'high crimes and misdemeanors' in a citizens' impeachment! We were outraged!


Scary-looking Revolutionary Guards pushed through the crowd with Georgie and Dick!


They called our guys 'prisoners' and forced them to listen to charges against them! Horror!!


A 'judged' presided over the 'impeachment' and 'trial' but refused to allow us to speak up for our boys! And look at the impenetrable wall of Raging Grannies behind the judge. That kind of thing is intimidation!

Nevertheless, we Billionaires did our best to prevent the impeachment, chanting, "Bush is Innocent!" and "Cheney is Innocent!" We yelled "Nay!" when we could finally vote, but there were simply too many great unwashed middle classes against us -- it was all to no avail.

Our boys were impeached, 'convicted' and stripped of their crowns in a most humilating fashion!


They were then led to 'prison' where they joined our Rummy and our Condi. Hey! When were Rummy and Condi convicted?!?! And that kid has Dick's crown -- that can't be right!

Is it really so easy for the people to triumph over us? Stay tuned...

UPDATE: One of the attendees documented our efforts to support our boys! Thank you, darling!

UPDATE: Here is a photo of our fantastic crew voting "Nay!". But, without recourse to 'campaign contributions' and 'charitable donations', we really had no hope of prevailing. How sad.

Hotel Workers Win! 'Outrage'!!

Hotel workers reached a historic agreement with three luxury hotels
early Tuesday afternoon. The contract is settled. Management caved. It is a sad, sad day for Boston's luxury hotels when they are forced to pay a living wage to their workers.

All of the rebellious workers' demands were met -- and then some. This is a very bad precedent for the wealthy since now they may need to pay more for their luxuries! For some reason, the union thanked us Billionaires for our assistance and have invited us to a celebratory party this weekend (time and date TBA; check the event listing above).

They write,

Thank you for all of your support and work in this contract campaign! The threat of a boycott was incredibly valuable to our campaign. Your ideas, phone banking, research, delegations, and sit-in participation were absolutely key to us pulling off the victory . We will let you know when a celebration is planned and hope that you all will attend...

But what did we do?!? We just paid one little visit to the Park Plaza to buck up management when the union was held at bay because of an injunction! That isn't so much, is it?

Oh wait, Jobs With Justice says our visit worked since management realized that even if they kept the workers away from the hotels, other people would still be able to take action. Hmmmmmm... Good to know for the future!

Billionaires At the Park Plaza Hotel!

Although we often stay at the Park Plaza Hotel for kicks, we paid a special visit this evening because obstreperous workers of the hotel are threatening to strike! It seems that the rabble wishes the company which owns the hotel, Starwood, to pay its Boston workers about the same as workers at Starwood hotels in other cities. They are also asking the company to provide them with a pension plan. Porsche DeCosta Lotta-Dough and D'Oyle Fields ask, "What for? So they can retire instead of working until they drop?!"

Currently, management personnel are training to be replacements for the workers if they strike. Porsche presented the General Manager, Mickey Schneider, with a document of support for this strategy. After all, we wouldn't want the service to decline or anything horrible such as that! Mickey was quite gracious and assured us that negotiations would work out just fine. We certainly hope so. What ever would we do with mintless pillows?!

After shoring up management, D'Oyle and Porsche tried to break down the door to one of the strike trailers cluttering up the vista. Those inconsiderate workers had not only parked this trailer within sight of the hotel, but then plastered it with gaudy posters.

The posters read, "Unite Here!". We believe that is just wrong!

Billionaires Under Survellience?!?!

Sunday's New York Times brought us the distressing news that the NYPD 'Intelligence Division' lumped the Billionaires in with other activist groups protesting against the RNC in 2004! Does that seem right to you? Those other groups probably don't even own tuxedos, pearls and martini glasses!

If you click the link, kindly avert your eyes from the very large photo of Monet Oliver DePlace dressed as an ordinary activist! It's downright scandalous!!!! Here is a much more glamorous photo of our dear Monet:

For the official Billionaire reaction, kindly go here.

Billionaires For Bush's War!

Boston Billionaires 'counter-protested' at the very large anti-war rally on Boston Common yesterday. We leafletted, talked to the hoi polloi, and offered to exchange blood for oil (they give us blood, we give them oil). Some even 'harassed' the peace marchers. We just wanted to provide some 'fairness', 'balance' and truthiness to the event. And provide them we did!

Here, the Billionaires struggle to set up our richly appointed pavilion. It is ever so vexing that we cannot force our servants to work on a Saturday! How is it again that one works velcro?



Once the pavilion was set up, Austin Tayshun relaxed with a martini and several billions while D'Oyle Fields, the Butcher of Cambridge, eagerly awaits victims... er... donors in our Blood For Oil project (they give us their blood and we give them a jar of oil). Sadly, there were no takers!



Meanwhile, Dee Foress Tayshun shows off her lovely gams while Avery Damon Penny refreshes our exchequer.

We had many visitors to our pavilion, including the Legal Observer to the left. That insane radical leftist volunteer was harassing Ivana by talking about free speech and civil rights cases. Ivana was just opening her mouth to defend herself and the Billionaires, when the two Northeastern College Republicans sprang to her defense! "Where is the permit for this rally?" the one in the Marines tee-shirt demanded of the observers, who could only reply weakly that the organizers of the rally had the permit. This wasn't good enough for the brave young Yellow Elephant, who drove them away from the Billionaires' tent.



Another welcome visitor was our Georgie himself, here dressed in his alternative identity as the Caped Crusader! Di Bold shows her love:



Through it all, Ivana sat patiently, keeping her 'enemies list' (holding her hands so she didn't snatch away Dee Foress' martini) :



And we leave you with one final shot of D'Oyle Fields. Should we be concerned that he seemed to want blood so much?

...I suppose not. The blood of ordinary Americans is ever so profitable!

Billionaires Surge for the War!

Martha's Vineyard Transfer (MVT) is the Boston Billionaires fabulous new performance group and they fought back against an attempted peace surge by the Stop the Wars Coalition. The occasion was a fundraiser for the March 24th "Peace and Justice Fair" (see above).

Here, MVT Maestro Lee Vemhangen relaxes with Anita Stockson-Bonds in our richly appointed dressing room:



It not quite certain what Avery Damon-Penny is doing here, but we shall never question the pre-performance rituals of our Billionaires -- they can afford to be as eccentric as they wish!

Billionaires Perform To Raise Consciousness!

Billionaires attended a fundraiser sponsored by a rabidly Billionaire-unfriendly radio program called Radio With A View. We simply wanted our voices heard. Is that so wrong?

Gallant Billionaires Liza Tooyou, Lee Vemhangen, Anita Stockson-Bonds and Avery Damon Penny even stormed the stage to present the Billionaire point of view in song and dialogue. Here, they discuss the awful changes liable to effect us now that Democrats control the House and Senate:



Here, they talk about oil, everybody's favorite petroleum product:



They sing about our favorite record-breaking corporation, Exxon:



And finish with a rousing paen to the wars which keep us wealthy!



Sylvie Spoon was entranced -- although whether it's by the performance or her martini is hard to tell!


The show will be aired on WMBR on Sunday, January 28th at 10:00 am, so tune to 88.1 FM to hear the Billionaires, George Shrub the Singing CIA Agent, Kip Tiernan, Baratunde Thurston and Jim Infantino. Also, we fixed the Chutzpah Awards, but we won't tell you who won!

UPDATE: You may also hear the program by going to WMBR's archives and scrolling down to "Radio With A View" for January 28th, 2007. "Radio With A View" starts at about 5:00. The Billionaires' section of the program begins around 39:28.

Boston Billionaires at Governor Deval Patrick's Inauguration!

Sure, Deval Patrick has worked for some of our finest corporations -- Coca-Cola, Ameriquest, Texaco -- yet we wondered how his policies would effect Billionaires in Massachusetts. After all, he worked for the NAACP Legal Defense Fund and headed Bill Clinton's Civil Rights Division. We wondered if he really had the guts to screw the little guy in order to further the interests of the super-mega-ultra wealthy. In an effort to find out, we attended his Inauguration:

For the first time ever, the Inauguration was held outside so more citizens could attend. That move in itself was worrying. If our government isn't exclusive, will there be room for Billionaires and our cash? At first, the ordinary citizens of Massachusetts we encountered seemed to be enthusiastic about our cause. They took our photos, for example:


Then, the crowd turned ugly. Two women crossed their arms threateningly! A couple cast scornful looks at Dee Foress Tayshun's mink stole! A man scowled! They didn't seem to appreciate the Billionaires at all! It looked as if incivility would break out at any moment:


Dee Foress and Austin Tayshun were frightened and clung to each other for safety as glad cries of "Romney is gone!" rippled through the crowd:


The tension became so great, that Ivana Moore-Enmoore pleaded for assistance from one of the Inauguration volunteers. He pocketed our leaflet and cash and shepherded us three to the reception line in order to meet the new Governor:

Photo by Dee Foress Tayshun. Thank you, darling!

We thought we would be safe in the State House, swarming as it was with State Troopers and members of the Ancient and Honorable Artillary Company. Sadly, we were wrong! The reception line became an hours-long ordeal.

First, no staffers accepted our bribes to let us go to the head of the line. It was an outrage!

Second, we had to stand with the hoi-polloi and wait our turn! More outrage!

Third, it looked like the Governor would leave for his next event before he even met us! What a disaster!

At the end, staffers announced that we would be able to meet the Governor, but no photographs would be allowed! Despair tightly held our hearts like a vise-grip, but we soldiered on.

Finally, Ivana met the Governor and quickly pleaded with him to remember us Billionaires, the most oppressed minority in Massachusetts and in the Nation! Austin and Dee Foress issued a similar plea to Lt. Governor Tim Murray.

With our mission accomplished, we could finally relax (note the Governor over Austin's right shoulder):

Photo by Dee Foress Tayshun.

After we calmed down and stopped cackling insanely, we were swarmed by reporters, who took down our words of hope: "Let our gardeners take care of the grassroots!"

We can only hope now that the Governor remembers us and honors our investments in Legislation! Well, and we can continue to fund our lobbyists!

Billionaires Finally Mourn the Election Results!

Austin Tayshun and Ivana Moore-Enmoore. Not pictured: Lee Vemhangen and
Dee Foress Tayshun. Photo by Dee Foress. Thank you, darling!

Billionaires for Bush held a candlelight vigil at Park Street Station to mourn the loss of our heroic Republican leadership. We asked commuters to please help us remember the Republican leaders who have gone before the voters, and have been found wanting for some unknown reason. Sadly, most of those selfish commuters just laughed at us!

Let us remember the fallen:
Jim Talent (MO)----------- Thanks a lot Rush!
Mike DeWine (OH)--------- Time to sue Diebold.
Rick Santorum (PA)------- Who let the dogs out?
George Allen (VA)--------- He got ‘macaca’d’.
Dick Pombo (CA) ---------- Can always go back to doing porn films.
Chris Chocola (IN)---------- Down for the count.
Conrad Burns (MT) -------- Now can get "knee-walking drunk" without media attention.
Tom Delay (TX) ----------- Already had resigned, so what did you expect?
Donald Rumsfeld (DOD) -- Now staying the (golf) course.
John Bolton (UN) ---------- I guess they thought the U.N. building didn’t need him.

And lament those who have now taken over:
Sheldon Whitehouse (RI) ---- Who?
James D. “Jim”... (VA) -------- His full name wasn't even on the ballot!!
Claire McCaskill (MO) --------- If only stem cells could talk.
Deval Patrick (MA) Gov ------- Locked up the prisoner vote.
Jon Tester (MT) ----------------- Missing three fingers? Cool!
Nancy and Teddy and Harry -- Oh, My!

What will we do now?
The same thing we’ve always done! Lobby, lobby, lobby! But it will cost more this time.

[most of this text is from the flier written by Lee Vemhangen. Thank you, darling!]